You can’t force someone to love you

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I may have gotten a bit carried away here, but if you can make it through the few paragraphs of pure sap and schlock, I do make a point ūüėČ

Here we are. 2015. We met in 1993 at my dads restaurant. By chance, by luck, by accident, who knows. All I know is we’re here now. As you all know I am not a believer in much, I don’t believe in soulmates, prayers, religion, luck, God, politics, vegetarianism.

I do believe in attraction, feelings, passion, love.
I know that we didn’t get here by accident or by chance. We got here for a reason. That reason is true love. Not in the “one true love sense” more in the literal sense of the words. We truly love each other. I know this to be true now. After questioning it at different times in our relationship. I don’t think Tony is the only Man in this world for me. Nor do I think I’m the only woman for him. There are so many people in the world. That can’t possibly be true.¬†What I know is we chose to love each other. I’ve waited for him and he’s waited for me. We’ve each gone through many struggles in our life together. We’ve taken turns hating each other.¬† We went to therapy individually and together (that may not have been the best idea) it hasn’t all been Facebook posts of us holding hands on the beach ūüėĚ #fakepeopleslivesonfacebook we don’t always get along HA!¬† We’ve worked together for 22 years. raised 3 children, had many pets, shared losses and wins.
If there is one thing I learned from my parents it’s that you don’t leave. (There are always exceptions!¬† If you’re in an abusive relationship, if your partner is a mob king pin, if they are stealing from you, you get my point) if the fundamental premise of your relationship is normal and functional, you don’t leave cause you have a fight or cause shit gets rough.¬† I can only speak for myself and my relationship. I know without a shadow of a doubt that this man loves me and I love him. Of this, I’m sure. He has seen me at my worst in every sense of the word. I have seen him through all of his highs and lows too. It has not been a smooth ride, I am sure there will be more bumps to come, but we are stronger, closer, and more in love than ever before. He never left. I never left. He actually and literally waited for me.¬† For me to figure out what the fuck was going on with myself during my 3 year midslife crisis, meltdown.¬† I know most men would not do that.¬† For that, I am so grateful.
I think people forget that. They say the vows but only because they are parrots. They don’t mean it or even really grasp the meaning.¬† They think they mean it, they intend to mean it… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.¬†¬†People change. People grow. People do stupid¬†things. When things get tough people crack.¬†¬†If you’re lucky enough to find someone who will love you as much at your worst as they do at your best, keep’em!
You can’t force someone to love you.¬† They just do or they don’t.
There are millions of different reasons relationships crumble, I am not judging a single one of them. I am only speaking about my personal¬†experiences. We didn’t stay together for the kids, for money, for business, for property. We were tested to the limit and we both chose to love each other. We couldn’t have gotten this far without each other.
I love you with all my heart TonyÔłŹ‚̧
Thank you for not quitting on me. Here’s to the rest of our lives.
xo
your Wife
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